Today we said goodbye to our little embryos and my heart is broken again. I'm still grieving for our babies that we lost just a short time ago. Now I must grieve for two more lost babies.
The day we brought our little embryos home was really special and I keep thinking of Sunnyboy when I came back from the operating room after the embryo transfer. When I walked back into the waiting room, where he and his Nana were sitting reading books and doing puzzles, he looked at me with a questioning look filled with excitement and hope and I gave him a thumbs up. He was so happy and his face lit up with love and joy. After I'd sat down and told him two little embryos were in my tummy now he immediately cuddled it ever so gently and said hello to our babies. Since then he's chatted to them often, told me how he hears them laughing when he tickles my tummy, bought them more presents and talked about all the things he wants to show them.
I'm just so sad that these babies didn't stay, and we'll never get to watch them grow and meet them, but Sunnyboy is already an amazing big brother. My heart breaks even more seeing him deal with this loss, as a four year old, and as he grieves for them too.
Still I am grateful that we were able to bring our little embryo babies home and have the time that we did get with them here. They'll have a place in our hearts forever.
Bringing our little embryos home
23rd April 2011