4 May 2011

Saying goodbye again

Today we said goodbye to our little embryos and my heart is broken again. I'm still grieving for our babies that we lost just a short time ago. Now I must grieve for two more lost babies.

The day we brought our little embryos home was really special and I keep thinking of Sunnyboy when I came back from the operating room after the embryo transfer. When I walked back into the waiting room, where he and his Nana were sitting reading books and doing puzzles, he looked at me with a questioning look filled with excitement and hope and I gave him a thumbs up. He was so happy and his face lit up with love and joy. After I'd sat down and told him two little embryos were in my tummy now he immediately cuddled it ever so gently and said hello to our babies. Since then he's chatted to them often, told me how he hears them laughing when he tickles my tummy, bought them more presents and talked about all the things he wants to show them.

I'm just so sad that these babies didn't stay, and we'll never get to watch them grow and meet them, but Sunnyboy is already an amazing big brother. My heart breaks even more seeing him deal with this loss, as a four year old, and as he grieves for them too.

Still I am grateful that we were able to bring our little embryo babies home and have the time that we did get with them here. They'll have a place in our hearts forever.




Bringing our little embryos home
23rd April 2011

19 comments:

  1. Just seen this now.i had thought about you all day and meant to send a message,then didn't had a chance.so very sorry,big hugs...

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  2. When I saw your post title, my heart sank. Sending love to you now. I am so sorry. xx

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  3. I am so sorry :( The loss of hope each time is just devastating.

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  4. I am so dreadfully sorry to hear these little ones were not to stay. It is amazing how grounding our children can be for us during the hard times. Love, light and Hugs:(

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  5. my heart sank too. I am so sorry :(

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  6. I'm so very sorry to hear your news xxx

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  7. Sending big hugs your way. {{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Sunnyboy is amazing -- what an incredibly thoughtful little boy you're raising!

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  8. I'm so sorry to hear this, dear friend.

    I really do believe that your sweet Sunnyboy will be a big brother soon.

    Give him an extra hug today. The one he gives you back is from me too.

    Sending so much love and hugs.
    xxox

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  9. I am so sorry. Wishing you strength, love and a happy future.

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  10. Sunnymama, I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you hugs and prayers your way.

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  11. I am so sorry - you're in my thoughts.

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  12. I'm so very sorry. Sending you lots of hugs.

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  13. I am so sorry to hear this x

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  14. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your babys. Even though they were with you for a short time, it is so hard to say good-by to all the hopes and dreams, and a life time of loving you had for them.

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