Babywearing, walking and a bit about shoes

I've been passionate about babywearing since reading The Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff when I was pregnant and from four days old (when we first left the house; to do some charity shopping and go for an all-day vegetarian breakfast with Nozy) Sunnyboy was carried in slings and baby-carriers.

He was walking independently at 11 months and by 15 months he was ready to be walking out and about in the streets (farther than the corner shop or to visit neighbours) and got his first pair of shoes. Prior to that, outside in the garden or at the park, he went barefoot (or wore soft slippers or just socks) and still does for most of the year, but for walking in the streets and for the winter he needed some shoes. Out of curiosity at 13 months I had taken him to get his feet measured at Clarks. I'd already done quite a bit of research on shoes for babies and told the assistant that I was interested in getting his feet measured but probably wouldn't buy any shoes for another few weeks. She obviously thought I was a bit daft and informed me that he needed shoes "to help him walk and help his feet grow". That statement, and the research I'd done, convinced me that I wouldn't be trusting the shoe industry to give me advice on children's footwear. I decided he was still too young to need shoes so didn't buy any until he was nearly 15 months.

Then at 15 months, with his new shoes and shopping bag, Sunnyboy started walking as far as he wanted to to different places locally and over the next few months he began walking to work and other places regularly, while for other journeys and long distances we continued to use slings. We were still babywearing on a daily basis until Sunnyboy was over 2 years old and then gradually he needed carrying less often, and eventually was walking more places than he was carried.


December 2007

Now at 3 1/4 years Sunnyboy is getting so big he unlocks the door and switches off the light before we leave the house, and he can walk for miles (I don't drive so we walk everywhere or occasionally take the bus). I always take the hip sling out with me still but Sunnyboy rarely needs a carry much more than about once a week, and then only for a short while. When he was a young baby I loved that babywearing meant Sunnyboy had constant human contact and was able to feel my warmth, breathing and heartbeat (preventing him from being scared or over-stimulated by the noises and activity in the environment around him), and that by being carried he was always there at eye-level during everyday interactions and conversations and was able to see the world from an adults height. I've realised that another important benefit of babywearing was that from birth Sunnyboy also experienced walking through the movement of his mother, and walking long distances is now both natural and enjoyable for him.


November 2009

He still takes off his shoes as often as he can and is happiest barefoot.

See more Monday Memories at Planet M Files

Work, play and learning in the lives of young children

'What about the youngest children - where do they fit in? Samantha Punch carried out a detailed study of children's work in Churquiales, a small rural community in Southern Bolivia. By three or four years old, children were already fetching water, collecting firewood, going on errands, feeding ducks and chickens, scaring birds from crops, picking peas and beans, peeling maize stalks and harvesting peaches. As children got older they progressed onto more complex, physically demanding and responsible tasks...

Punch concludes

Even from an early age children carry out some tasks independently and they should not be seen purely as helpers but active contributors in their own right. Their unpaid work not only benefits the household ... but also increases their sense of autonomy, enabling them to gain skills and competencies useful for their individual independence. (2001:818)

...From a Western perspective, child work is viewed as a potential threat to children's welfare and development. The expression 'child labour' is frequently used, which has connotations of exploitation and harm. From his research among the Abaluyia of Kenya, Weisner (1989) notes that parents may hold a quite contrary view. Children's work is seen as valuable, not just in preparing them for their adult roles, but serving an essential function as a form of emotional and social support, integrating children into a family and community network that places high value on interdependence and interconnectedness...

[In Europe and North America] most young children's activities are interpreted within the dominant discourse of 'play' and 'learning'. From the children's point of view they are experienced as attempts to contribute, as small examples of 'work'.'

Work, play and learning in the lives of young children
Martin Woodhead
In: Psychological Development and Early Childhood by John Oates, Clare Wood and Andrew Grayson, The Open University 2005, pages 41-46




March 2009

*The inspiration for Conscious Friday comes from Se'Lah at Necessary Room.

Children's work and the Continuum Concept

'I was present at the first moments of one little girl's working life. She was about two years old. I had seen her with the women and girls, playing as they grated manioc into a trough. Now she was taking a piece of manioc from the pile and rubbing it against the grater of a girl near her. The chunk was too big; she dropped it several times trying to draw it across the rough board. An affectionate smile and a smaller piece of manioc came from her neighbour, and her mother, ready for the inevitable impulse to show itself, handed her a tiny grating board of her own. The little girl had seen the women grating as long as she could remember and immediately rubbed the nubbin up and down her board like the others.
She lost interest in less than a minute and ran off, leaving her little grater in the trough and no noticeable inroads on the manioc. No one made her feel her gesture was funny or a 'surprise'; the women did, indeed, expect it sooner or later, as they are all familiar with the fact that children do join in the culture, though their approach and pace are dictated by forces within themselves. That the end result will be social, cooperative and entirely voluntary is not in question.'

Jean Liedloff
The Continuum Concept


May 2009

Parenting at Work

I'm a stay-at-home and work-out-of-the-home mum. When Sunnyboy was 5 months old we started going to work together as volunteers in a charity shop. For the first year and a half Sunnyboy was mostly worn in a sling while I worked and from 2 years old he played on the floor beside me. Since then he's gradually joined in with more and more tasks and has learnt so much from being with adults in a work environment. It's been wonderful to work and learn together in a child-friendly workplace with co-workers who have become a community for us, and also to be able to make a positive contribution to our wider local community. When the choice is preschool or work, the decision for us is obvious.

Sorting, testing and pricing toys in the stockroom upstairs















Sorting clothing





Washing up



Loading toys on the lift





Going down the stairs



Stocking the toy shelves





Stocking the bric-a-brac shelves





Having a rest



Serving behind the counter with a co-worker



Using the till



Our locker



The Continuum Concept
Full Time Mothers
Parenting in the Workplace Institute
Babies at Work: Bringing New Life to the Workplace by Carla Moquin
Bringing Baby to Work by Lisa Belkin, Motherlode Blog - NYTimes.com
Back to Work - With Baby by Christina Boufis, Hybrid Mom
Off to Work We Go - Baby in Tow! by Annie Feighery, Mothering
Stay-at-home mums save the country £1bn a year by carrying out volunteer work by Arthur Martin and Emily Andrews, Mail Online
You Can Be A Stay at Home Mom! by Kelley Scarsbrook (video presentation)
Learning is Children's Work by Wendy Priesnitz

Self Fulfillment and Full Time Parenting

'Staying at home full time to raise a child does not mean there should be no opportunities for personal fulfillment - quite the contrary. Being at home can create opportunities to develop new skills and explore other possibilities. This huge life change can create the momentum necessary to stretch our imaginations and pursue new areas of interest.

Many people find self fulfillment through paid work. In traditional cultures women undertake work with their children on their backs in slings or by their sides playing. Extended families and communities share the care of children, who enjoy being part of everyday life. Only in westernised society does women going to work equate to leaving children in the care of strangers.

“There are many ways to maintain a career or outside interests from home. As tribal cultures demonstrate, children do not need to be the centre of attention to be well adjusted – they simply need to be kept close and integrated into the activities of their parents. According to Jean Liedloff, young children are uncomfortable when adults are focused on them; rather, they need to be the observers in order to absorb and learn as the adults around them go about the business of daily life” Peggy O’Mara in Natural Family Living (2000:119).'

Self Fulfillment and Full Time Parenting
by Susan Stark

Preschool or Not?

'Preschool is socially unnatural. By taking young children away from their source of power – mother – and putting them together in a group of similar ages (unable to help each other), we render them helpless. In this impossible and unnatural setting, they fail to socialize on their own and depend on adult control to be able to function and stay safe. Such experience teaches the child to see herself as socially failing and dependent on authority.
...home, play, music, dance, art, books and Nature are all she needs; expose her to what you love and what she shows interest in, and don’t impose any teaching.'

Ask Naomi Aldort: Preschool or Not?
What do you recall from age four? Nothing you know today relies on what you learned in these early years in a school. Instead, it relies on how you felt about yourself. Read the full article at Natural Life magazine, July/August 2009

A Homeschool Curriculum for Preschool and Kindergarten by Lillian Jones
Much Too Early by David Elkind
A Gift of Time by Sue Smith-Heavenrich
Let's Not Institutionalize 3, 4, and 5 Year Olds by Larry and Susan Kaseman
Open Letter published in The Times Educational Supplement by the Open EYE Campaign
Early Learning Policies Should Not Be Imposed by the Open EYE Campaign
Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills by Alix Spiegel
Grow Slow by Vicky Allan
The Wild Child by Scott Noelle
Unschooling Nurture by Laureen (Life Without School)
Alliance for Childhood
Universal Preschool: the universe is our preschool
Open EYE: campaign for an Open Early Years Education

Universal Declaration:
The Preschoolers' Bill of Rights
Proclaimed by Tykes On Trikes, 2006

WE, the preschoolers of the world, have determined that parents who abdicate their responsibility to raise, educate, and care for their own children from birth to age five, jeopardize children's lives and endanger all of humankind - and we have had enough! We are tired of being handed over to transient strangers, so-called child "experts," daycare providers, teachers, preschools, corporations, government agencies, and special interest groups in the name of social reform and the global economy.

Our parents and other adults, many the victims of abandonment in daycare centers and preschools themselves, have forgotten or dismissed the worth of the developing child.

We have determined to do what adults should have been doing all along - protect all tots and demand a better quality of life for preschoolers in liberty and freedom through this decree.

WHEREAS, young children, by reason of their physical immaturity and vulnerability and precisely because they are the future generation, need special safeguards and care, parents have a moral duty and noble obligation to provide their children the best they have to give.

WHEREAS, preschoolers' brains develop at astounding rates and are capable of assimilating vast amounts of information, it is the duty of parents to protect developing minds and keep them independent from government control and indoctrination with standardized curriculum and testing.

WHEREAS, early education and learning are not at all the same thing as "schooling" or the act of attending preschool,

WHEREAS, most preschool programs are based on fads and not on well-established knowledge of how young children learn best,

WHEREAS, interest-initiated learning including open-ended creative and imaginative play, exploration of the environment, hands-on experiential learning, and interaction with caring adults (preferably a child's own parents), in the safety and security of their own homes is the best model for early childhood education,

WHEREAS, parents should respect and strengthen a young child's natural ability and desire to learn,

WHEREAS, preschoolers are being expelled in alarming rates from preschool and daycare programs due to the current trends of forcing academics that lead to undue stress and pressure resulting in physical, behavioral and learning problems,

WHEREAS, play that children can control is central to the physical, social, emotional, psychological, and intellectual growth of a young child - contributing to their language development, social skills, and problem solving capacities that lays a foundation for later academic learning,

WHEREAS, too early separation from parents has been shown to be harmful to the developing child,

WHEREAS, academic instruction, even at Kindergarten level, has been shown to be harmful to the developing child,

WHEREAS, the politicians who push for social reforms, including universal preschools, are more interested in getting elected, re-elected, grabbing power, or making money than with what is best for young children,

WHEREAS, publicly-funded programs usurp parental authority and promote an entitlement mentality,

WHEREAS, it is clear that the strongest motivation of the proponents of publicly funded preschool programs is access to taxpayer monies,

WHEREAS, savvy marketing and slick corporate styled publicity campaigns are purposely making parents feel that they are incapable of teaching their own young children, and falsely suggest that children who don't go to preschool will be unemployable or wind up in prison,

WHEREAS, parents are capable people who should accept responsibility for their children's education and can be effective without the enticements of a government preschool, government "experts," testing and other government interference,

NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that there should be no voluntary or compulsory government preschool programs,

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that Tykes on Trikes, on behalf of a united coalition of young children throughout the world, hereby reclaims childhood with the Preschoolers' Bill of Rights to the end that each child may have a happy childhood and enjoy the rights and freedoms herein set forth, and calls upon parents, all citizens, organizations, local authorities and national governments to recognize these rights and strive for their observance in accordance with the following principles:

Principle 1

Every child shall be entitled to and enjoy all the rights set forth in this Declaration, without exception and without distinction or discrimination on account of race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth, or income or class status.

Principle 2

The child shall be given opportunities to enable him to develop physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, morally, and socially in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. The best interests of the child shall be the paramount consideration.

Principle 3

The child shall enjoy the benefits of a family. A child of tender years (ages 0-5) shall not, save in exceptional circumstances, be separated from his or her mother and father. The child needs love and understanding and shall, wherever possible, grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his or her parents, and, in any case, in an atmosphere of affection and security.

Principle 4

The child is entitled to receive an education or early learning opportunities that are in the best interests of the child. The responsibility for the child's education and guidance lies solely with his parents. The child shall have full opportunity for interest-initiated exploration, play and recreation facilitated by caring adults (preferably the child's own parents), and public authorities shall protect and promote the enjoyment of these rights.

Principle 5

The child shall be protected against all forms of neglect, cruelty and exploitation, including, but not limited to, enrollment in government funded daycare and preschool programs.

BE IT KNOWN that Tykes On Trikes, on behalf of children ages 0-5 throughout the world, now proclaims...

The Preschoolers' Bill of Rights
Everywhere in the world preschoolers, children ages 0-5, are oppressed.

This document seeks a beginning to redress that imbalance.

1. Preschoolers have the right to a happy childhood.
2. Preschoolers have the right to a loving, functional family.
3. Preschoolers have the right to be cared for and nurtured all day and everyday by the people they love and want to be near the most - their own parents.
4. Preschoolers have the right to hear, "I love you" from their parents frequently throughout the day.
5. Preschoolers have the right to receive plenty of hugs and kisses from their parents.
6. Preschoolers have the right to have parents who have not been intimidated, invalidated, and undermined by so-called experts who fill them full of diaper-doo about how they are incapable, unqualified, and unprepared to give their child what he or she needs.
7. Preschoolers have the right to live and learn in the comfort and security of their own homes.
8. Preschoolers have the right to play and should be encouraged to do so by everyone.
9. Preschoolers have the right to be read to.
10. Preschoolers have the right to be sung to.
11. Preschoolers have the right to ask questions, receive answers based on facts, clarity and honesty, and engage in endless discussions with their parents.
12. Preschoolers have the right to explore their indoor and outdoor environment under the loving supervision and guidance of their parents.
13. Preschoolers have the right to lap time, not circle time, and should be cuddled in their mothers' and fathers' laps frequently throughout the day.
14. Preschoolers, in recognition that the concept of "quality time" is a meaningless fabrication by adults to ease their guilt over forsaking "quantity time" with their own children, have the right to demand abundant amounts of undivided time and attention from their own parents.
15. Preschoolers have the right not to attend preschool.
16. Preschoolers have the right to be heard and heeded, and as the largest minority on earth, reserve the right to speak for themselves especially when their parents, duped into compliance with government and private entities, are incapable of it.
17. Preschoolers have the right to resist any school, daycare, or government or private institution that tries to dumb them down with standardized curriculum and testing.
18. Preschoolers shall have the right to be free from measurement, assessment, evaluation, comparison, labels, diagnostic testing, ranking, and grading, except as chosen by their parents in the interests of the child's health and development.
19. Preschoolers have the right to disobey parents, teachers, politicians, and special interest groups that attempt to enroll them in government subsidized preschool programs against their will.
20. Preschoolers have the right to take class action suits and rise up against misguided parents, educators, celebrities and politicians who attempt to confine them in government funded universal preschools.

This Preschoolers' Bill of Rights is international in scope.

You are welcome to copy this in its entirety as long as you include this credit line:

Copyright 2006, Tykes On Trikes, All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with Permission of http://www.TykesOnTrikes.com/

*The inspiration for Conscious Friday comes from Se'Lah at Necessary Room.

Babywearing

Sunnyboy carrying his teddy in his sling

Hotslings Kid Cotton Pouch from Big Mama Slings*

Babywearing links:
The BabyWearer
Sling Meet
Babywearing Bloggers
The Importance of the In-Arms Phase - Jean Liedloff
Baby Carriers of the Animal Kingdom - Truly Natural Parenting!
Flickr: Simple/ethnic baby carriers
Flickr: Babywearing!
Enter the SnugBaby Summer Competition 2009 to win a SnugBaby mei tai, in your choice of colour.

Click here to see the play, crafts and learning ideas blog link-ups we share at.

The inspiration for Conscious Friday comes from Se'Lah at Necessary Room.

*Note: I've featured this product because I liked it and wanted to tell others. I haven't been asked, or paid, to do so.

5 dangerous things you should let your kids do

One of my favourite TEDTalks is this fantastic talk by Gever Tulley.

Gever Tulley: 5 dangerous things you should let your kids do


This week the TEDBlog featured an interview with Gever Tulley and his latest TEDTalk is now available online.

Gever Tulley: Life lessons through tinkering



*Operation You is the home of Inspirational Monday. You can get more inspiration there and are invited to stop by and post your links of inspiration.

Infant world teachers

When a child is born, the entire Universe has to shift and make room. Another entity capable of free will, and therefore capable of becoming God, has been born. In that way, every child's birth is exactly like the birth of a world teacher. Every child born is a living Buddha. Some of them only get to be a living Buddha for a moment, because nobody believes it. Nobody knows it, and they get treated like they're dumb. Babies are not dumb. A newborn infant is just as intelligent as you are. When you're relating with him, you should consider that you are relating with a very intelligent being who just doesn't speak your language yet. And you shouldn't do anything gross to him before he learns to speak with you.
(quote from Stephen Gaskin)

From Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin

I've posted before about how Sunnyboy inspires me, and I love this quote because it expresses how I felt about Sunnyboy even before he was conceived. I'm grateful to a wise friend who, when I was pregnant, lent me a copy of Spiritual Midwifery as well as some other great books including The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin. Reading these led me to discover the Continuum Concept and 'attachment parenting' which felt so instinctive and natural to me. I'm honoured to be Sunnyboy's mother and also to have found ways of mothering him that allow me the opportunity to learn from him and grow as a person while I try to relate to him in a more natural and respectful way.

*Operation You is the home of Inspirational Monday. You can get more inspiration there and are invited to stop by and post your links of inspiration.

Abraham on parenting

Earlier today I posted an Abraham-Hicks video for Inspirational Monday. I've just come across another fantastic video that I really wanted to share. In it Abraham talks about trusting children's innate guidance systems regarding their own safety amongst other things. Abraham then goes on to talk about encouraging children to chose for themselves what they want to learn and do. It seems that Abraham is a Continuum Concept and unschooling advocate. I love Abraham's parenting advice.

Mind the tree

Today we were playing outside in our garden and a woman visitor of one of our neighbours decided to teach Sunnyboy and his friend how to use the slide. She went on and on: "Don't climb up the slide", "Don't go down the slide head first", "Do it this way", "Don't slide too fast".

She also gave him instructions on how to eat: "Drink some water after you have a bite of toast it helps you swallow".

Her concern for his well-being included his feet: "Haven't you got any shoes? You might stand on something prickly".

Sunnyboy just ignored all this and eventually I had to ask her to give it a rest because, despite her good intentions, it was becoming extremely unhelpful. One piece of child safety advice she gave though I thought was worth sharing. As Sunnyboy walked past a tree she shouted out "Mind the tree!".

This evening I read a post on Free Range Kids called When the Playgroup Mommies Think You're a Slacker. This post is well worth reading if you're one of those parents who let their children walk past trees without protective clothing and close adult supervision.

Work

We've being going to work together since Sunnyboy was 5 months old. It was something I wanted to do after reading The Continuum Concept when I was pregnant (and reading it several more times in Sunnyboy's first year). As I've always been an avid charity shopper, the obvious choice was to volunteer in a charity shop and I found a shop that was happy for us both to come and work. I'm so appreciative of all the people we work with who have helped make it such a great experience for both Sunnyboy and myself. After our first day they put in a changing table for us and have continued to make minor adaptions to make it a child-friendly environment. Sunnyboy even has his own cup in the tea-room with his name written on the bottom, just like all the adult staff. Until he was 2 years old he was worn on my back while I worked (apart from during tea-breaks) but since then he has been on the floor playing or helping me while I work. He loves to help other people too and is able to join in with more things as time goes on. Our work colleagues have become good friends to Sunnyboy and I am happy to be part of a community and able to make a contribution to our wider local community. Sunnyboy learns so much from being at work with me 2-3 afternoons a week instead of being separated from the adult world as has become the norm for most children in our culture. It's been beneficial to us both in so many ways and as Sunnyboy's mother I'm so glad that I read The Continuum Concept early on and believed it was possible to find an opportunity to do this. We did also do a newspaper delivery round for most of last year which was great because it was outdoors, paid and we saw so many things of interest on our rounds. We were made redundant from that job before the winter but I'm hoping something similar will come up again in the future.

Here's a quote from Sunnyboy today at work when a co-worker was getting ready to leave:
"Bye L, shop closes in 5 minutes."

Babywearing Blogger

I'm a Babywearing Blogger! I carried Sunnyboy from birth. We started with a BabyBjorn which I soon realised wasn't a good choice so we got an Ergo which we loved and used until very recently when we moved on to a Toddler Patapum. We also have wraps (a woven wrap and a home-made gauze wrap), hip-carriers (home-made and bought) and a podeagi. Sunnyboy walks most places now but he's still carried 2-3 times a week. I've been passionate about babywearing since reading The Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff when I was pregnant and it's been wonderful for both Sunnyboy and me. There's loads of information about babywearing and different types of slings/carriers at TheBabyWearer.com

Some interesting links:
The Importance of the In-Arms Phase by Jean Liedloff
Great things about babywearing
Attachment Parenting - The ERGO Baby Carrier
How to Carry a Baby in a Bed Sheet (or shawl, or rebozo, or shorty…)
'Baby toting' in 1963 - CBC Archives
Flickr: Simple/ethnic baby carriers
Flickr: Babywearing!


Sunnyboy at 6 months