'In relation to children, we have learned that we must listen to our children, recognize them as competent, and learn from them, thereby becoming as valuable to them as we want to be. When our children's behavior makes us feel less than valuable, then it is almost always because we are - that is, prior to the particular conflict, we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behaviour, and our good intentions into fruitful interaction.
This is not a situation that we can change immediately by taking action. We can only open ourselves toward our children and attempt to decode their spontaneous or (out of loyalty to us) delayed feedback. Children do not attempt to teach us anything; neither do they employ educational theory. They simply live together with us and let us know how they experience things.
The majority of us develop so slowly as human beings that we do not cease to become angry or irritated until long after our children have become adults. Learning to change our perception is difficult and takes time. But there is nothing wrong with taking our time as long as we do not persist with the illusion that the fault lies with our children.'
12 March 2009
A Quote a Day
Today for the Weekly Geeks challenge I've chosen a quote from Your Competent Child: Towards New Basic Values for the Family by Jesper Juul, and some videos clips of him talking about integrity.
Hello :) Very nice posting. Our children may not attempt to teach us things, but when we listen to them we certainly learn a lot. I think that's a very valuable lesson parents for parents to learn :)
ReplyDeleteHave a Great Day!