A saying I've heard from other parents is "they have to learn that they can't always have what they want" and I wonder what explanation they would give if asked why. I hadn't really questioned this idea before I had Sunnyboy, but now it seems an odd statement to make. It's such a deeply entrenched theory and how much so was demonstrated to me this weekend when I overheard our young neighbour talking to her friend about Sunnyboy. "His mum gives him whatever he wants. He says he wants an ice-cream and she says OK." This concept was clearly totally baffling to her.
I see my role as helping to facilitate Sunnyboy in getting what he wants. I trust him to follow his own guidance in making decisions about what he wants to do and that he is the expert in knowing what he needs and desires. When there are obstacles in the way of him achieving this I can help him find solutions and, in situations where we want different things, help us to reach common preferences. I want Sunnyboy to grow up with a sense of abundance, not of scarcity, and I hope that by helping him get what he wants I am helping him to believe that anything is possible.